Jesus said, “Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be deeply disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all, and then they will rest.”
Gospel of Thomas 2
It is in taking care of your own pain and sorrow, and in having faith in yourself at times when no one else has it that you really achieve self confidence. Once you have opened up this source of power you will attract a physical and social environment which supports you and your deepest aspirations.
Pamela Kribbe, The Jeshua Channelings
What is emotional healing?
For most of us it probably means relief from our “negative” emotions, which we don’t like and over which we apparently have no control. Some of us see psychologists or other therapists, and many of us are advised to remedy our deep anxiety, depression and the like with drugs.
Using drugs at times has definite advantages and can be helpful. However, they do not solve anything. The drug model is based on the universal “scientific” assumption (belief) that consciousness is the result of chemical processes in the brain. As a former scientist who has rediscovered my authentic Self I have discarded this extremely limiting belief.
ALL conflict and consequent pain ultimately has only one source: the denial of our authentic Self.
As children we act on feeling – the language of the soul. We cannot do otherwise. Emotions flow, or pass through, as A Course of Love puts it. That’s why children are so inherently joyful, and why Jesus said that the “kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these”.
Then we are told to “grow up” by becoming “reasonable”. We are taught that we need to develop the intellect in order to survive and find answers, and that feeling is mere sentimentality. We learn to suppress and deny what we feel, and thereby to disconnect from who we truly are.
At the moment you turn away and refuse to face the emotions, you become stuck. Those emotions want to flow; it is essential to emotions that they continue moving onward, like the surge of a big wave onto a beach. But you are afraid to allow that, so you refuse to go along with that movement and you pull back from these flooding emotions. You build a dam, a barrier, and you say: “I cannot deal with this. I do not want this. I want to be done with it.” Your reaction, often out of a sense of sheer powerlessness, creates a depression, which is a state of numbness and of being closed off from life. Over time, that situation becomes unbearable, and you no longer want to live. (Jeshua in Pamela Kribbe, The Dark Night of the Soul)
And so we try for the rest of our lives to use our intellect to undo the “stuckness” that was caused by the suppression and denial of feeling. It’s like using paraffin to douse a fire.
Many of us are beginning to understand this intellectually. However, that is only the first step. Ultimately we can only return to our authentic Self through feeling. With our extreme focus on intellect, this can be experienced as very difficult as the mind constantly interferes with the process.
Probably most of us turn our denied pain into a comfort zone through judgement, projection and complaining. As long as THEY are responsible for our problems, we need not face our denial. Religion often enhances this by embracing the very judgement Jesus advised us to let go of. That’s probably why the Gospel of Thomas was never included in the Bible. We put our pain “out there”, and thereby avoid dealing with it.
Until the pain gets to much. More and more of us are coming to a point where we say: “There must be another way.”
There is. It’s simple, but not easy: Face the “deep disturbance” that Jesus spoke about. In order to do that, we have to re-learn how to feel.
This has been my journey. After many years of “stuckness”, anger, frustration and depression, alternating with joyful experiences, and especially after a truly miraculous recent journey through the USA, I am finding a peace, joy and abundance that “passeth all understanding”.
I have a renewed passion to share this peace and joy. Not by doing or teaching anything (although this may happen), but simply by being and sharing without judgement, and thereby enhancing the consciousness in which we feel safe enough to face our “disturbance”. In normal life, which is not the same as natural life, judgement is so ingrained that it can be very difficult to go through this process. Because I have experienced so much pain in my life, and am increasingly experiencing the joy and abundance that comes with letting the pain pass through, I have learnt to relinquish judgement to a large extent. This is what I have to offer: my authentic Being.
In addition, when we get together as smaller or larger groups, we increasingly feel safe to be real, and thereby help heal each other. Realness heals. As I facilitated group process in the past, I found myself healing. As I shared on the A Course of Love Facebook site and later personally with people who had “worked” through A Course of Love, we found mutual healing happening. Healing happens through authentic sharing – not through one person healing anybody else. What we share is the unity that underlies our pain.
Here’s how Carl Rogers, one of the most popular psychologists ever, put it in his book On Becoming a Person:
The more paradoxical aspect of my experience is that the more I am simply willing to be myself, in all this complexity of life and the more I am willing to understand and accept the realities in myself and in the other person, the more change seems to be stirred up. It is a very paradoxical thing – that to the degree that each one of us is willing to be himself, then he finds not only himself changing; but he finds that other people to whom he relates are also changing; At least this is a very vivid part of my experience, and one of the deepest things I think I have learned in my personal and professional life.
The form in which we do this does not matter. I’ve actually been doing the work for many years in many different contexts already. Different forms may emerge as time goes on. It can happen in one-to-one interactions, in small groups or in large groups. My preference, however, is to do it in the form of retreats in natural environments. As Cormac Cullinan wrote in Green Spirit: Path to Consciousness, “Wildness is that thread, that magical skein of creativity that runs through the human heart and connects human nature with Nature itself.” I have found nature to be a powerful enhancer of the human consciousness process.
For this reason, wilderness trails are also an ideal context for this process. As professional wilderness guide with the Wilderness Leadership School, I do trails in the iMfolozi, Pilanesberg and other Game Reserves. Trails in the Okavango Delta in Botswana are also possible. On these trails we sleep under the stars, and everybody takes a turn to stand watch at night. The feelings evoked under these conditions, where any animal can suddenly appear and anything can happen, lend themselves ideally to the consciousness process.
I live purely in faith and abundance. I do like a roof over my head, transport and food to eat, however, as well as couple of luxuries. But I do not want these needs and desires to be an obstacle to participation, and so, while there will be costs involved in the events, I work principally on the basis of donation. If you are attracted to what I do, but feel that you cannot afford it, please let money never be a factor. On the other hand, if you feel you can afford it and want to, please let it be.